waiting :"c

You know those night when you stay awake waiting for the one person to text you or call back? Your heart starts being a little faster and you get so impatient. You stare at your phone constantly pressing random buttons so the lights stay on. When they finally do text you, they give you that one worded reply. No matter how boring they are to text, you always find something to talk about. Then all of a sudden you lie your head on your pillow and fall asleep. When you wake up, the only thing you see is just another one worded text. As much as you try with them, they will never return the love you give to them. You keep trying and trying, and all of a sudden you find yourself not even bothering any more. No matter how much you may try, not everyone will return the feelings you give them.

B, to tell you the truth, I never wanted to take a distant with you, I would always want to be your girlfriend, I don't care how complicated your life is, how many times I have to be hurt.Life is never the same without you greeting me in the morning, and telling me how much you love me.With you telling me how much you love me would make me forget all the pain. I know its imposible for you to come back, but if ever you would want to I would always accept you. I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if i need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I miss you a lot :'c

Helpless

I woke up in the morning with puffy and swollen eyes, again I slept crying on our sofa with my besfriend trying to pull my hair and make me stopped. I never thought it would be this hard, I have so many questions in my mind that I can't find the perfect answers for it because he left me with no further explanations just telling me "ayoko na rin". I don't get where he is coming from, its like in just 4 days he changed, I kept on asking myself what have I done? Am I not good for him?

Each time i find answers i would end up hurting because I would always remember his promises that we would work this out and stay loving each other for the longest time. Had so many plans already but I don't think anything will ever happen again.

I could not really hate him even I wanted to so I can have reasons for moving on, but I can't, my heart can't. How can I hate someone I loved.

There's a later part in my head telling me bakit kasi hinayaan mo pa siyang bumalik ulit sa buhay mo? nawala na siya db? and my head will find its answers I did trust him because he promised me that he would stay know matter how I often get hurt, but he did not.


I'm overthinking, clueless and wasted because he don't know what I'm going through this days, he's one of my greatest strength but now that i'm in so much battles, he's not there. He left me standing alone and left things unsaid.


He would wlays tell me that he doesn't deserve me because he always make me cry and hurt me but that's part of loving and know matter how many times he hurt me, everything will heal as long as I have him.


And as of this moment I'm not sure of the best thing to do, when I'm trying to set my mind in moving on, I can't start at all b't know because the feelings is have is strong that it cannot find a space for moving on, if staying would be the best thing to do I should be ready everything that will happen, I will risk .And I don't know exactly to go for.

What's i'm sure about, I'm still waiting, waiting for him to ask me back on his life, I know its impossible, but if it would give me the strength to hold on i want all those impossibilities.

Fighting it :'c

You know that feeling? When you’re just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you’re tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay. But no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won’t be. But you’re still hoping. And you’re still wishing. And you’re still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting